"Dave!" I say, in an authoritative voice developed especially for this situation. "Do you see this artfully-arranged decorative display that I have placed on this counter?" After waiting the sufficient amount of time necessary to determine that Dave is not listening to me, I continue. "Well, I found these stuffed in the display, again. Do you know what they are?" I ask, while holding up some of his Speedy Rewards receipts that he has acquired from the gas station, and gently waving them back and forth to attract his attention.
"HEY, what are those?" Dave replies, with alarm.
"They are your stupid Speedy Reward receipts and you put them in my display, again!"
"Well, don't touch them! I put them there, because I don't want to lose them!" Dave says, each time.
"Do these look decorative to you, because they are not. I am putting them under the counter for you, in the drawer where they belong." Then I add them to the 10,000 other Speedy Reward receipts that Dave has collected over the years, and then never looked at again, even once.
This is why I found it so amusing when Dave interrupted a conversation I was having with one of my daughters recently, about some white wine that she enjoys, and that I had purchased for her.
"Don't EVER buy that wine again!" Dave said, emphatically. "It is the worst wine I have ever tasted. It was horrible."
Puzzled, we both looked at Dave, and Jamie asked, "Was it a white wine? The wine that I like is a Riesling wine and it is white."
"YES, it was white, and it tasted terrible; like water or something!"
It was with this revelation, that it tasted like water, that a smile crossed my face.
"Where did you get this wine from?" I asked. "Was the wine bottle green?"
"Yes," He said, and pointed to the green bottle in my decorative display. "There is still some left, right here."
"Well," I answered, with great amusement. "It tasted like water, because it WAS water. That bottle is in my decorative display, and, after the wine was gone, I refilled it with water because I liked how the bottle looked there."
I was so delighted that Dave, who had received countless warnings about my decorative display in the past, had finally been punished by drinking water that, unlike the biblical story of old, had NOT turned into wine that I decided to blog about it. The next day I told Dave of my intentions to write about the incident with my decorative display, and, much to my surprise, he said, "What decorative display? You mean some kind of display you put up for Halloween?"
"No," I answered, with great shock and disbelief...not to mention a fair amount of irritation. "I am talking about the artfully-arranged, decorative display on the kitchen counter!!!!"
Puzzled, he got up from his chair in the dining room to look around the kitchen. Finally, after scanning the room for several seconds he said, "Oh, you meant that thing that I put my receipts in."
I have decided to give up. This morning when I passed the counter, yesterday's mail was once again, resting in my decorative display... for safekeeping. I guess, as they say, "Art is in the eye of the beholder." Blessings. ~ Amycita~