This time, however, the source of our problem was a broken sump pump, so Dave made a midnight run to the closest Meijer store, a mere 14 mile journey, round-trip, and bought a new one. He came home with a top of the line sump pump; a sump pump so impressive that it could probably drain Lake Huron, if needed. He regaled me with information about all of its features and functions, and, sadly, I found myself listening with great interest. I didn't even mind the cost, because, now that I live in Romeo, a sump pump is far more important to me than than all those frivolous things I used to spend my money on, like clothes or perfume. Dave installed our shiny new sump pump, and the next day I went out and rented a "Rug Doctor" and began hours of carpet cleaning. Following our considerable efforts, made even harder since we are both somewhat broken, we conquered our flood, along with the help of a multitude of fans, and electric heaters. We returned our "Rug Doctor," and went home; secure in the knowledge that we were now the proud owners of the best, damn sump pump in all of Romeo, as well as the driest basement. Our happiness lasted for about all of two days.
I had fallen asleep on the couch sitting upright and uncomfortably, due to the fact that we were having a torrential downpour, accompanied by thunder and lightening. The reason for my discomfort was because whenever there is thunder and lightening my pups, Teddy and Scarlett, are filled with anxiety and therefore must sit on, or in close proximity to, a human's lap for the duration of the storm. This time period could be up to and including all of eternity, if necessary. I woke up, pups still on my lap, to hear Dave informing me that our power had gone out during the night. We both had appointments that morning, so we left the house in the hopes that our power would be restored by the time we returned. It was....but not before our basement had flooded again. Even the best damn sump pump in all of Romeo is ineffective, if one has no electricity with which to run it.
This time, due to the aforementioned torrential downpour, we had much more water. There was water in every carpeted closet, carpeted cupboard floor, and all manner of nook and cranny. Unfortunately, these were all the very places that I used to conceal a plethora of messy boxes and crates, so as to fool my guests when they come over, into believing that I am an exceptional house-keeper. Clearly, I am not. Once again, we rented a "Rug Doctor" but this time we needed to sort through 29 years of accumulated items; those items that are SO IMPORTANT that you absolutely cannot throw them out... but that you never actually look at again, once they are hidden in a closet. Thus began the real cleaning. Together Dave and I soldiered on, undaunted by the magnitude of our undertaking.
"Be ruthless," I told Dave. "Don't be afraid to throw anything out if it is wet, or if you can't figure out what it is!" I felt empowered by my own words, and began throwing out bag after bag of unnecessary items. Dave wandered over, and glanced at some of the items.
"Hey, isn't that the Bunn coffeemaker that I bought you? That cost a lot of money. Why are you throwing that out?"
"It doesn't work right, and Barb bought me the most awesome coffeemaker known to man. I haven't a clue as to why I didn't throw this old one out to begin with."
"Okay, but what about this thing? What is it, and why are we throwing it out?" Dave asked again, holding up the object.
"Oh," I answered. "That is a food processor. You gave it to me about 25 years ago I think, but I have never used it. I considered trying to use it a few months back, but I couldn't figure out how it worked. I am pretty sure important parts of it are missing...like someone who wants to process foods. Frankly Dave, it wasn't the best present for me. Maybe you thought it would make me a better cook, like my sister, but, obviously, you were mistaken. It would have been much better to give it to her, and then ask her to invite us over for dinner. I wish I would have thought of that, but it's too late now. It has been flooded on, in addition to collecting dust for 25 years, and today it's going to go."
Dave frowned, and DID NOT put the offending food processor in the garbage. I waited patiently for him to become distracted, and then put it in myself. I felt the weight of the food processing world, lifting from my shoulders!!
Together we forged on, puzzling over parts and items that we had saved for a variety of unknown reason, and that now, after these many years had passed, left us totally baffled, as to their purpose. Out they all went. So many, in fact, that we may have to borrow garbage cans from neighbors to contain them all.