Thursday, January 13, 2011

Speeding Tickets and Night Vision Goggles

Recently, I received my very first speeding ticket, at the age of 51.  Now I am not going to lie...I have been guilty of committing a variety of traffic violations, several times over the years, but none for which, I have actually received a ticket.  I have been stopped for speeding three times. I have been stopped for making a right on a red where it was not permitted; a violation which resulted in not one, but TWO police cars pulling me over...(I am guessing this was necessary due to the very serious nature of my crime, as well as my threatening appearance.)  And finally, I was once pulled over when the twins were around four, because the officer did not believe that Gina was properly restrained in the back-seat.  This was because she had turned around while still in her seat belt, knelt up on the seat, and happily waved out the back window at the police car.  Technically this was not actually a crime, because at the time, the law did not require child-seats to be in use in the back-seat AND she was in fact, wearing her seat belt; although admittedly, not very effectively. In all these cases, except for Gina's crime, I always admitted my violation when asked, never made excuses of any kind and was sure to respectfully use the term, "officer,"  several times during our conversations.  For these practices I was always rewarded by not getting a ticket, and I considered this to be a very equitable arrangement.  I did my part, and the police officers did theirs; which was of course, to never give me a ticket under any circumstances.  Then, by some terrible misstep by the universe, I was pulled over by an officer who did not follow the proper protocol that I have previously outlined, and he gave me my first one.
When handing me my speeding ticket he explained, that he had written it in a manner that would not result in my receiving any points on my driving record, as long as I paid the fee for the violation.  I accepted the ticket graciously, thanked him, and even wished him a Merry Christmas.  I probably would not have been so gracious though, if I had realized that it didn't matter if he wrote the ticket for between 1-5 miles over, since the threshold for the fine of $125 is for anything between 1 to 10 miles.  Also, I was required to pay the ticket with a money order, as they would not accept personal checks, so an additional cost was incurred.
I put the matter to rest though, until I opened my mail and found, that, in order to avoid receiving any points on my record and then having that information forwarded to my insurance company, I would be required to complete a Basic Driver's Education Course, as well. This course is available at the cost of $39.  I find this very insulting, as I am very familiar already with the basic rules of driving.  The rules are, that when speeding, one must always be alert for police cars, and then slow down before they can clock your speed. (and one should never drive with Gina in the backseat, whether they plan on speeding or not)  Also, I am annoyed that it was not taken into consideration that I slowed down as soon as I saw the police car. I do not believe I should be penalized simply because he had hidden his car so well, that I was not allowed the required amount of time necessary to reduce my speed, quickly enough.  I even compensated for his oversight, by actually slowing down to LESS  then the posted speed, and attempting to blend in with all the other cars traveling in the slow lane. Clearly, he was unappreciative of the lengths I was willing to go to lessen his workload, by not having to take the time to write me a speeding ticket.
The really frustrating part of all this is, that I am spending hard-earned money on things I didn't want to begin with; traffic tickets and drivers education classes, for example.  Having recently discovered a whole line of spy gear surveillance toys, available at Target, I am deeply saddened that I can't be spending my money on truly important things; like a pen that secretly records your conversations with people, without their knowledge.  I have already purchased the spy gear-surveillance night vision goggles for my husband, and, although he never gets to use them because I am always playing with them, I was hoping to add more items to his collection, in case I decide to begin a new career as a spy.  Now I am left with only my night vision goggles to play with. The ones with their extremely bright, blue led lights on the sides, that, while allowing you to see in the dark, also make you visible to everyone in a five block radius; thus making it very difficult to surveil anyone without their knowledge.  Now, I am not complaining.  The night vision goggles are extremely fun to use while taking my dogs on late night walks and for making my tea in the morning without any lights on in the kitchen, but I am still left with the knowledge, that, if only that officer would not have ticketed me, I would have had an additional 169 dollars with which to buy toys for my husband. It is very important that I buy these toys for him, because that way I get to play with them.
Well, I better go.  It's dark out now, so the pups and I need to go out on our daily mission.  I wonder if they make tiny night vision goggles for dogs?  That would be great, because then they could see our cat in the dark, and they could avoid the humiliation of getting pounced!


  1. ***i never did take that driver's education class...i still have a wee bit of the rebel left in me. luckily, my bold act of defiance didn't cause my rates to go up. :D

  2. Well, the nerve of that judge to not take into consideration your attempts to conceal your crime. Also, what type of police officer would take the time out of his day to find a place to be hidden from your plain view while you were breaking the law. I would think they'd at least give you credit for slowing down after being clocked. But, worse yet, I've always thought speeders, or criminals, like yourself, were always given a five MPH credit. So if you were going say 15 MPH over the limit, he would write the ticket for like 10 over. oh well, at least your insurance rates didn't go up, we've all had a bad day at one time or another.

  3. thank you warner!!! at last someone who appreciates the lengths i am willing to go to avoid taking responsibility for my actions.

  4. 1st mistake... you slowed down, shows you knew you were traveling at an astronomical rate of speed and endangering the peace and serenity of all the other law-abiding citizens and those who have radar detectors and had already slowed down before they saw him. (If you can see the police car it is already too late.)

    2nd mistake… you tried to elude your apprehension by attempting to hide out between the slower moving vehicles and hoping the officer would lose you in all the confusion of, “Where did she go?” (This just adds proof to the type of desperado of the roadway you really are.)

    3rd mistake… was not explaining to the officer the terrible position and hardship this was going to place upon your being able to furnish your husband the wonderful items that now would rob you of many hours of enjoyment. And in addition keep you of the road while you were playing secret agent within the confines of your home, thus not endangering anyone else who might find themselves within your cross hairs because now you would be behind the wheel of your 2 ton demolition machine. (Not that it would have worked, but you just never know when you are going to come across another fan of spy gear-surveillance night vision goggles and pen recording devices.)

    I liked the story; it gave me a chuckle or two. If I should stop you in Lapeer County first thing I am going to do is call for back up and you can expect to be tazered (lol).

    Good Write.