MY BASEBALL PLAY-BY-PLAY

I am a fan of the "Stoney and Bill, with Sara Show," on 97.1 The Ticket. Recently, I caught a broadcast that included contestants participating in a contest which required you to give your very best play-by-play call of a baseball game; an impression or a creation of your own.  Most callers did impressions, but had I more time that morning, I would have called in to share my own take on the game. This would be how I would call it, if attending a game with my husband, Dave:

"It's a beautiful day for a ballgame!  We are about to start the game with the Tigers taking the mound against...well, I am not sure who we are playing against. I WOULD know, if only my husband would have bought me a program like I asked him to, but he said the line was too long and I wouldn't appreciate it anyway. All I know is that the Tigers are playing some team with blue uniforms. Hmmmm....their uniforms are kind of nice, but I like ours better.  Oh, sorry...I digress.

Okay, so our guy is out on the mound and he makes the throw!  It's a...whoa...wait a minute!  That opposing batter is kind of cute!  I wonder who he is.  I don't know what his name is, of course, because Dave failed to buy me that program, but he is very nice looking!

Oops...I wasn't paying attention. Now I am not sure what just happened, but another guy is up to bat.  Our guy throws again and....OH MY GOSH!!!! DAVE, THERE IS THE GUY SELLING HOT DOGS!!  Will you buy me one of those? I don't know what it is about ballpark franks, but for some reason, they taste better than every other hot dog, don't you think?  What?  I AM watching the game, Dave.  I think you are very rude.

Okay, back to the game...blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.  This game sure is taking a long time.  A bunch of stuff happened, but, since I am so short, when everybody stands up I can't see what is going on. That is very annoying and it always happens to me. I can't ever reach things on the top shelf at the grocery store either.  Sometimes, I actually have to climb up on the shelves to reach stuff. They should do something about that. 

Oh yeah, I forgot about the game and I have no idea what is going on.  Wait... I will ask Dave again.

Dave, I don't appreciate you speaking to me in that tone of voice.  I AM watching the game.  Why is it taking so long though...and what inning is this? I have a lot of stuff to do when I get home and I didn't realize I would be here forever. I know those guys came out with their brooms to sweep, so we must be near the end. This is the top of the ninth?  And the bases are loaded with two men out and this guy has two strikes?  Does that mean we win if we get him out or do we have to bat again?  I hope not, because frankly, I am tired of this game now.  The only fun part was the hot dog. Get it, Dave?  I made a joke....frank-ly and hot dog...did you catch that?  That is SO funny...you just have no sense of humor. Why are you so crabby all the time?

Whoa...something just happened, but once again, I can't see what it was because all these inconsiderate people are blocking my view.  Dave...what happened? WE WON???  Wow, that was great!!!  I love baseball!!  Let's do it again, soon!

What??? I resent that Dave. I don't need you to buy me tickets anyway...I can buy my own.

This is Amy, wishing all you other loyal Tiger fans a great day!!" ;)

Blessings ~ Amycita~