Thursday, May 1, 2014

THE IMPORTANCE OF TRAINING YOUR HUMAN

Wiley's first photo.
I was recently reminded by Olivia, that it has been exactly one year since she and Mike adopted that bundle of silver mischief named Wiley.  As with all of the best things in life, it is hard to imagine our lives without him in it...and not just because of the disposable income that was lost because of him.  (It is a pretty impressive amount though, if one calculates how much money it cost to feed a pup who originally, weighed in at 13 lbs. and who now, tips the scales at 80.)  It isn't even because of all the extra-time we would have had, had we not been carrying ladders through 3 feet of snow in the middle of winter, in order to climb over the neighbor's wrought iron fence to free him after he catapulted over a mountain of snow, and got trapped beside her in-ground pool.  No, it is because of all the joy and laughter that he has brought into our lives, as well as his ability to give unconditional love and comfort; the gift that God so cleverly endowed all dogs with, in order to make up for all the trouble that they get into. 
I can still remember, quite vividly, the first time that I met Wiley, when Olivia and I made the trek to St. John, Michigan, in order to bring him home.  Mike and Olivia had planned on picking him up together, but since Mike had to work unexpectedly, I happily agreed to go in his stead.  Although they had already chosen Wiley beforehand, Wiley was unaware of this, and did his best to enlighten us as to the wisdom of selecting him.  To facilitate this, when I sat down on a step to pet him, he grabbed my purse and made off with it in the direction of our car.  He seemed pleased with himself, that he had chosen humans he could so easily educate, and sat patiently, with tail all a’ waggle, as we opened the back of van to place him in the kennel we had brought along for the ride home.  There was a moment of quiet as Olivia and I made our way to the front of the van and got in, but that abruptly came to an end as I began backing out of the driveway.  What we heard next was a veritable cacophony of sounds, previously unknown to all of mankind, that Wiley emitted in protest at having to sit in a kennel in the back, rather than on Olivia's lap as he had anticipated.  I had only made it to the end of the driveway when I was ready to pull over and bring him up front, but Mike had stressed to Olivia, the importance of never allowing a puppy's misbehavior to dictate whether he stayed in a kennel or not.  For this reason, I drove at least five or six feet down the road before I insisted that Olivia call Mike to tell him that Wiley was an unusually savvy dictator who would now be riding up front with us. 
Mike responded with a rousing tutorial on the virtues of consistency in training, designed to bolster our flagging resolve to keep Wiley in his kennel.  I am sure it would have been successful too, had it not been all of  the wailing, crying, howling, whimpering and  barking, that was emanating from the back of the van, which prevented us from actually hearing any of it.  

Wiley's most recent photo.
It took approximately five minutes before Wiley was able to train us to let him sit in the front of the car on Olivia's lap, which, I think, demonstrated a remarkable amount of discipline and resolve on both Wiley's part and ours.  Obviously, we were meant to be together.  ~Blessings, Amycita~

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Santa...Just A Couple More Things Before I Forget!

Dear Santa,
I hope you don't think me rude because I am writing to you again so soon, but I thought of a couple of other things that I forgot to ask you for this past Christmas.  I would wait until next December to send you these revisions, but the odds are slim to nil that I would remember any of them 12 months from now. To be honest, there is a good chance I won't even remember them by tomorrow, so before I forget, here they are:
1. Could you please give me something to help me stop forgetting things?
2. I would also appreciate if you would provide Dave with the same gift, as well. In fact, feel free to give Dave his gift first! The reason I am being so magnanimous is because he is so much more annoying about forgetting things than I am.  This is due to the fact that when he forgets where he put something, he always assumes that I am the one who misplaced it.  I can't imagine why he thinks this because it seems obvious, that with the amount of hours in a day I devote to losing my own stuff, I certainly have no extra time to spare losing his.
3. Additionally, I would like if you could give me one of the "Lifestyle Lifts" that they advertise on TV.  It would make me really happy if, when I get up in the morning and look in the mirror, my appearance looked more like what I THINK I should look like, instead of the much older looking woman who keeps appearing in my reflection.  I wanted to ask you for this last year, but I couldn't think of a reason for requesting this that would not make me appear to be selfish or vain.  After having given it a great deal of thought though, I was able to manufacture one!  I wouldn't be requesting this for myself, you see, but rather, for all the people who have to look at me!!!  In fact, I think it quite selfless of me to make one of my wishes for the betterment of others, instead of myself...don't you?
4. This will be the last one for now, Santa...could you please make my daughters stop sharing stories with me that involve "old people," in the telling?  The reason I ask for this is because whenever I inquire as to the age of these elderly individuals, they are usually my age or younger.  I do not find my daughters' apologies, which they make with a great deal of amusement, all that sincere, so if you cannot help me in this regard, then please, just feel free to give each of them some wrinkles or age spots, to even things up.
Okay, I hope you, the Mrs. and the reindeer enjoy some much deserved rest and relaxation in the coming months.  
Love,

Amycita xoxox